Wantabe

Upon reading several blogs most notably those of John Hirsch and Bree Wee I have gotten different perspectives of the sport of triathlon. John is a grisled veteran coming into the final 3-4 years of his pro staus writing about how this maybe the next couple of years might be his peak. He balances, a "real job", relationships and his real life with racing ,training,and coaching. Bree Wee is a former age grouper who has just entered the "pro world" and at an amazingly high level. She writes with the excitement of a newbie, exposing the almost secret world of the pros ( which is a lot like the age group world except devoted more to training, sponsorship, and getting paid to compete.) Upon reading the blogs and race reports of pro athletes I find myself in shock and amazement at how easy it looks, but how hard it really is. When you read about practices averaging 6:30/mile pace on the run, sub-5 hour bike splits, sub 3 hour marathons, a 47 min 2.4 mile (3.8km) swim, there is nothing but amazement. ( Especially from a kid who has manage to average under 6 min. miles only once in his career, and that was a 2 mile (3.2km) track race in high school.)

Part of me would really like to develop the talent to go pro. In 2007 I though I was hot. I had podiumed in my age group every race, Won against a semi-competitive at Park City. Even in early 2008 I still though I was hot stuff. Ironman New Zealand I did an 11:18 with very limited bike training ( granted I was the slowest American in my Age group, but I still managed to top half in the AG and top third overall.) Eagleman I managed to hang on for 7th on a rough day, when all but the best runners were reduced to a death march in merciless heat. But the last two half-Irons were the ones that have cut me down to size. At the Patriot Half I had a solid swim split and a decent bike split, but I just couldn't get my running legs to turn over. It was the first time my run leg had been a weakness and I had been passed more than I was passing. I finished behind all but 2 of the other elite men, but it was my first time as an elite. Rhode Island the following weekend, I got humbled and hard. 16th in My age group ( that's the humble part)and 197th out of 2000+ finishers ( The good part but a sign for the talent of the young guys). Maybe it was my training, or lack thereof, maybe it was the headgames of watching two guys infront of me go down hard, maybe it was my crazy two halves and a sprint in eight days, lack of sleep, bad nutrition,a whole list of other varibles,( the Canadians and New England's best came to play) or maybe it was a sign of "Bob, you're not as good as you thought, leave the elite ranks to the fast kids."

Maybe the reason I want to go pro is to get the ghost of former swim and track coaches off my back. To get the word's "You work hard but you'll never be champion." out of my ears. To stop being the kid with all the desire but none of the talent. To take those words bury them and toss a nice lily on their grave. Maybe it's the idea of being paid for what I love to do, to realize there is more to life than working nine to five, and ending up that crazy guy who does this crap on the side as an escape from his "real life." To live out some crazy childhood dream But irregardless, that's neither here nor there at this moment in time. The thing after every race I'm always left wondering will I ever be fast enough to become a pro or will I always be a wantabe.