Wednesday, November 26, 2008

For those of you looking for a good laugh

I meant to post this on this blog but it's over at my other one follow the link

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Ironman ready in 3 months?

Well I'm really considering going back to New Zealand if there are still entries available in late December, a few friends are talking me into it a few more are talking me out of it... it's a constant tug of war. I wasn't able to enter IM Arizona through genral entry and Bjoern's knee is shot so he didn't enter. The more I look at how much it would cost me to do an American Ironman the more New Zealand is looking appealing and "do-able" My pal Gary from HEAT wrote, " Rob, you'll have your entire life to do races like Kentucky and Arizona but New Zealand is on everyone's top 3 list and you have the shot to do it twice." My trigger finger is itching just to enter and be done with then I could justify long training hours, and get my self out of my personal ninth circle of doubt and fear and I can start looking forward.

Another reality has also hit, I haven't trained the way I did last year. At this time last year I had all my cold weather gear, stocked up on toe warmers and was riding 100 miles a week, this year..eh not so much. I have swam a little more and ran a little more but it was not to the same extent as last year. So I sit here in late November debating on if I can be Ironman ready in 3 months, would NZ be a folly, should I just do Kentucky which would give me almost 9 months to train. Should I do both? What about Kona implications? My self assuredness took a hit, this year, yet I was riding at minimum 60 miles a week. The weather ( with the exception of last week ) has been somewhat mild and part of me is wondering if it's a sign to do Ironman New Zealand , if I don't do it will I be kicking myself in 20 years. 3 months to build bike mileage and get my swim back into it's normal fast as hell shape, 3 months to get myself marathon ready again, 3 months, a quarter of a year, I've done it before I'll do it again. Even if I'm not bound for the land of the kiwis I'd sure as hell like to train like I am.

R.D.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

A stupid dream?

"You've got a good life, don't give it all up to go chase a stupid dream." - Mr.Ruteger in Rudy.

Well as I sit here looking at some of my bills trying to number crunch if sending my general entry in for Ironman Arizona is worth it.Part of me has always lived with the idea of don't give upsure things for maybes,or possiblies, or could happens. This summer I came the closest to giving up the sport I ever had in my life.My dad lost his job and for about a month I was the pesudo bread winner. I felt like a bum when I borrowed gas money from my grandfather to go and race Eagleman and for a while I debated if racing was worth it. 2008 was over ambitious I had planned on a high level racing season and was pretty much wiped out by mid-July.The races I had entered without knowing what was to come,had I known the harship that was going to strike I would have never entered half the races I did. Part of me last summer really felt like selling the bikes taking on a second job and letting my dream of a Kona start die forever. Now as I sit here in late 08 looking at entering a qualifier I am in the same debate. Bills which I know I will have to pay regardless,or a chance to race for that golden fleece. I feel like an addict gambler, will I give anything for another roll of the dice. Is it worth it? Will it only lead to my destruction? Should I do what a few people have suggested to me and go back to the minors race the training series and tri for funs only for a few years before making a bid at Hawaii, or do I side with that demon that has been whispering in my ear since day one : Quit,you're not cut out for this, you're no athlete, you'll never be a champion, everytime you race that's money that could go to a bill, or to your parents, or to someone who needs it...."the doubts build and steam roll. they hit like thousands of daggers and the weight of the world pushes them deeper, each news report of global recession, job cuts, hiring freezes, each dream of trying to move up from my working class roots, from the kid who could never be a champion feels like it's being thwarted. That's when I feel like siding with the doubts, the naysayers, letting this "stupid dream"die I wonder if it's worth fighting for,part of me realizes that sometimes these dreams are the only thing that help me muttle through the day, through the tedium, through the over look promotions, the extra hours I sign up for, the long boring hours between work and class, yet the other part of me wonders is it at all worth it? Is it worth the blood sweat and tears? The money? Especially the money...does the ends justify the means?
R.D.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Throwing in the towel? Being a "pussy" or fiscally responsible.

Well my dreams to do Ironman New Zealand in 2009 are pretty much on life support and it looks like the wisest thing for me to do at this point is pull the plug. Part of me hates to do this it's like pulling a DNF although in hind sight it's usually the right call.Part of it was my own fiscal situation, all the crap happening at home this summer tapped my resources, and it has just been a slow crawl back to where I need to to be. The other part of it was finally succumbing to the endless litnany of "it's too damn expensive", "it's your senior year of college, you should be devoting that time to trying to graduate." "Do Arizona." " You're nuts..." " Just do sprints." "find a real job" "get a haircut"..etc. The part that irks me is I sidded with all the naysayers. Last year people told me the same dose of reasons why I shouldn't do it,and I pretty much spat in their face and said "watch me!" I hate to always go the path of least resistance..but it seems like that's what the game plan is going to be in 09. The Ironman motto may be "anything is possible." but in the real world there are just somethings that aren't...and for me it's the starting line in Taupo on March 7. Now I will have some student loan money and a tax refund rolling in in January/February but with this being the 25th Anniversary the race will most likely sell out. Likewise part of me would rather put that cash to better use. I have some credit cards I need to pay off /down, I'd like to buy my car insurance for the year, relieve that burden off my parents and also just like to know it's paid in full... so I won't miss a payment and have it canceled. Pretty much I can come up with more practical uses for $5k than traveling halfway around the world. So that's where I'm at, part of me beliving I'm a pussy that I didn't give this race the honest fight and the other part calcualting how many bills race entry could pay off.

R.D.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Distractions

" Alright Boys you're in season, time to dump the girl friend, stop playing on your computer late at night and tell your boss to pound sand." - Art Rodriguez

Ah yes the words of my former track coach at our first practice of the season...let the memories from high school flow back.
The reasons I'm quoting him go back to the girl friend part. Normally this was never a problem. Afterall I believed I was the marked one, the guy that no girl in her right mind would date, and I was cool with that, sure it hurt sometimes, but it allowed me the freedom to train when I wanted on demand. In essence I was training free of "distractions", well ok there are always some distractions " will I have enough to pay for my race entry?", "my parents are driving me nuts.", "I hope I finish this ride before the library closes so I can do some research"...etc. But this year I had 3 girls competing for my affections, 1 was just a fling..which was a little awkward....but it was sort of an ego boost but it also has moral and ethical complications, for as much as I claim I'm a forward thinker, there still is a good little Catholic kid stuck inside of me. Girl number 2 we kissed but not really much to build a romantic relationship on , I mean we'd be good friends but I just don't think she's girl friend material. Then there is girl number 3..we went out in Newport, she's kinda into me I'm kinda into her, but I don't know where this is heading...and now I've got Coach Rod's voice echoing in my head about "girlfriends being run killers." I mean that's what happened in Newport, we went out on Saturday night and instead of going for a nice 8 miler along the cliff walk we just chilled on Sunday. The sad thing is I only know how to train one way and that is just planning for school and weather, I never had the girlfriend thing to worry about, and when I was first getting started in this sport, I chose the sport over a girl who couldn't understand why I spent so much on my freaking bike...I just don't want to be the poor sap at Eagleman who worked his tail off for years for a Kona spot and his wife made him return it, granted it's not like she isn't athletic, she's a former gymnast, she still runs a couple times a week with my sister...so she understands the rigors of commitment, but this is uncharted waters for me, I might have to submit this question to Bro. But that's what's been going on in my head for the last couple of days. I'm trying to get my butt into shape for Ironman New Zealand but it's been hard because of all this crap going on I need to focus, so this weekend back to basics, just running, riding and studying, no distractions.

R.D.