What really matters

Well, in the past few days I have been reminded quite rudely of my place in society. I am a lower working class plebe. I had to rely on the mercy of my mechanic to get my car fixed, I maxed out one of my credit card on books, I still am behind on a couple of bills, and my parent's situation looks like it's going to get worse before it gets better, my grandfather is looking at a more cost effective housing situation which means I might be looking for a roommate in a few months. I have put Ironman New Zealand on the chopping block and am sharpening the axe. I can't, despite all my passionate crap, justify spending the money to go, while part of me wants desperately to use student loan money and my credit cards to finance it, the other part of me is remembering I was in the same boat last year..and look where I ended up. Sure I was happy doing the race socializing, and visiting a country that I would never in my wildest dreams thought I would go to....but was the financial cost worth it, is a week of happiness worth a year of misery. My father leaving/losing his job hurt, I felt like a bum borrowing money for Eagleman and Rhode Island, knowing it was tight. I should have skipped and used the money to pay debts, so that's what I'm debating to do with New Zealand. It may not be good in the short term but in the long term it will pay off, especially if I have rent and utilities to contend with. Also it comes at a crucial time during the school year, can I really justify missing a week to 2 weeks of class, when I'm on the cusp of graduating, and might need the same money for summer courses. My degree and fiscal health are what matters, racing and happiness can wait after all it is better to be stable than happy.