The greater the adversity the greater the victory...
I had used this phrase a couple of time to egg on some of my friends as they went through some issues with their races. Now I suddenly find myself trying to take heart in them, to understand them.
Last year I did Ironman New Zealand this year I'm going back. Amid all the economic meltdown crap and the million other important things I should have on the front burner.I'm doing it. Part of me wonders why? Selfish, insane, just wanting to have something good to look forward to? I think part of it is just to see if my own words were an unfeltgeneric condolence or an actual phenomena.
Last year I was on a training ride with Claire as she was preping for Vineman and I had taken 2 weeks of recoup time. As we suffered up through the Connecticut hills she came along side and asked " so Bobby in all honesty how bad was it? How bad was the pain? The suffering?"
As I sat there and pedaled the funniest thing happended I couldn't remember the pain. Sure I was stiff after, and my heels were torn up like raw hamburger. It was pouring rain and my sinuses were running like a sieve but I couldn't remember the negative. Just being there to race was a blessing. Friends and Co-workers helped me out with encouragement and a little cash so I wouldn't be living off of PBand J for the week I was there, one of my buddies drove me to the airport the day after a snow storm dumped nearly 2 feet of snow on us . I met some awesome people made a few friends ( from the states) made a couple of good friends in New Zealand. The other thing is if racing is supposed to be enjoyable why focus on the negative,like the suffering and injuries.Sure I blistered and have blood stains in my racing flats from that rain soaked marathon but I also had a PR in that marathon...a marathon PR in the ironman ...after stopping to use the facilities and doing a Blazeman log roll...a marathon PR after a 2.4 mile swim a 112 mile bike and cramming in whatever hodgepodge running I could.
So now this year...I have bills, I have school, I have family crisises, I have the same stuff I had to deal with last year...I'm trying to cram my training in the same way I did last year except I'm a little bit further behind because of weather and it took me so long to decide to enter. So now here I sit again racing the New England winter, an approaching race,bills, a college smester, other crisises that flare and recede... essentially March 7, 2009 is going to be the fun part.
R.D.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Monday, December 22, 2008
Getting Back to Basics
Well as mentioned on my other blog Team Zoot Gu is disbanding at the end of the year, which now means I'm without sponsorship. Probably a good thing for next season. With all the crap going on in my life and a fool hardy decision to go back to New Zealand, I'm keeping my schedule limited, no annoucements on what races I'm doing or any of that. When I make Kona ( figure channel some positive Karma.)my season will be pretty much restricted to those races that are absolutely necessary.
As it is come May I should be graduating college and hopefully in the process of finding a steady real job, my own place and tackling my bills. So life in 2009 is about reorganizing ,getting myself in the position I want to be in, putting my destiny in my own hands. I have 4 races on the calendar so far, others to be added if finances allowed. 1 is a major travel race, the other a local travel race and the other 2 are show up and go. So I will be racing in my vintage HEAT gear. Every race I did in it I had good results, and hopefully it retained most of its good karma, and the invincible feeling I get while racing in it will carry on to my everyday life.
So this season no pressure, just go out with my hair on fire and see what happens. My everyday life gets me down enough, and my sport is what brings me back. It's what gives me something to look forward to, it gives me sanity when everything else makes me want to scream, to give up and crawl into black hole and disappear, it's my therapy, granted it's just as expensive. So this summer I'm just going to have fun with it, and hopefully have a few laughs along the way.There are somethings in life I can't control, there are others I can so for the stuff I can I just have to do the best I can, and maybe getting back to the fun, "eatting milky ways on the bike" approach is what's best for me. So here's to a better 2009!
R.D.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
You're Nuts!
" We do not do these things not because they are easy, we do these things becasue they are hard..."
-JFK
Well last year as I sat here prepping for Ironman New Zealand I kept getting a constant reminder of my mental health.
" You're training for an Ironman, do you know what that'll do to your knees? You're nuts!"
" You're training for an Ironman in the dead of winter...you're nuts!"
" You're going to New Zealand in the worst economic situation since the Great Depression? You're nuts!"
" You think you'll qualify for Kona? Damn you're nuts boy-o!"
" You want to go back? You're not nuts you're f**king insane dude!"
Last year I did not let these thoughts deter me. The last year has been rough with life just wailing on me, part of it was my over ambition, some of it was unforeseen circumstances, most of it was how I reacted to shit. Funny it seems that when I race 95% of the time, if something happens I just roll with it, but life throws me a curve ball, and I let it bug me. I stress, I worry, I fret and go into panic mode and then a few hours/days/ weeks down the line take a deep breath and deal with it, kicking myself for being such a dumbass. Mayb I need to view life like I view my races, somedays you're the first one out of the drink, others you hit the wrong part of the beach, some days you are crusing at 30 mph effortlessly with a tail wind, and others you are stuck on a 20% grade crawling at 2 mph, You pull a marathon PR or are crawling over the line in a 5k. Last Year I didn't let life get me down, this year I did. I think my goal is to make next year alot more like last year and a hell of a lot less like this year. to keep a positive attitude to do what I need to do and most of what I want to do. To not worry about what other people think, afterall at the end of the day I'm the one who has to live with myself.
So I have made the decision Ironman New Zealand is where I'm heading, once again training through the cold( well I've still been swimming a running semi religiously but I need to get on the bike again.), once again with people screaming its suicide in my ear. I figure I like the race despite the logistical nightmare getting to it, it's worth it. The Kiwis are chill, the atmosphere is laid back, and except for some bad drivers it's a pretty fun race. As some of my teamamtes and family members put it "New Zealand is on everyone's top ten list and you might as well do it while you're young, single, and free.*" Most people tell me it's irrational, it defies logic, but then again doesn't voluntarily paying money and signing up to race 140.6 miles (226.2 km) seem a tiny bit irrational, figure if I'm going to do it I might as well go for the illogical trifecta.
Whether or not I'll race a lot of my local events remains to be seen, although I have 2 on the shortlist, one because I've done it every year it's been in existence and the other because it is my hometown sprint, but even then the local I want to race is only $50. I made a few mistakes last year in entering a lot of big name races, this year New Zealand is the biggie, unless I qualify for Kona. ( Dear Bree Wee, young broke age group seeking homestay, knows how to cook, clean, do windows.), regardless I'm going back.
Now all that leaves is training, having done this whole shabang last year, I know the best winter training spots around. My masters team is in full swing, and I can eek out an hour or two to run pretty easily. So I'm going back to Taupo and hopefully, I get that magic ticket punched to the Big Island.
Life is short, Race hard.
R.D.
-JFK
Well last year as I sat here prepping for Ironman New Zealand I kept getting a constant reminder of my mental health.
" You're training for an Ironman, do you know what that'll do to your knees? You're nuts!"
" You're training for an Ironman in the dead of winter...you're nuts!"
" You're going to New Zealand in the worst economic situation since the Great Depression? You're nuts!"
" You think you'll qualify for Kona? Damn you're nuts boy-o!"
" You want to go back? You're not nuts you're f**king insane dude!"
Last year I did not let these thoughts deter me. The last year has been rough with life just wailing on me, part of it was my over ambition, some of it was unforeseen circumstances, most of it was how I reacted to shit. Funny it seems that when I race 95% of the time, if something happens I just roll with it, but life throws me a curve ball, and I let it bug me. I stress, I worry, I fret and go into panic mode and then a few hours/days/ weeks down the line take a deep breath and deal with it, kicking myself for being such a dumbass. Mayb I need to view life like I view my races, somedays you're the first one out of the drink, others you hit the wrong part of the beach, some days you are crusing at 30 mph effortlessly with a tail wind, and others you are stuck on a 20% grade crawling at 2 mph, You pull a marathon PR or are crawling over the line in a 5k. Last Year I didn't let life get me down, this year I did. I think my goal is to make next year alot more like last year and a hell of a lot less like this year. to keep a positive attitude to do what I need to do and most of what I want to do. To not worry about what other people think, afterall at the end of the day I'm the one who has to live with myself.
So I have made the decision Ironman New Zealand is where I'm heading, once again training through the cold( well I've still been swimming a running semi religiously but I need to get on the bike again.), once again with people screaming its suicide in my ear. I figure I like the race despite the logistical nightmare getting to it, it's worth it. The Kiwis are chill, the atmosphere is laid back, and except for some bad drivers it's a pretty fun race. As some of my teamamtes and family members put it "New Zealand is on everyone's top ten list and you might as well do it while you're young, single, and free.*" Most people tell me it's irrational, it defies logic, but then again doesn't voluntarily paying money and signing up to race 140.6 miles (226.2 km) seem a tiny bit irrational, figure if I'm going to do it I might as well go for the illogical trifecta.
Whether or not I'll race a lot of my local events remains to be seen, although I have 2 on the shortlist, one because I've done it every year it's been in existence and the other because it is my hometown sprint, but even then the local I want to race is only $50. I made a few mistakes last year in entering a lot of big name races, this year New Zealand is the biggie, unless I qualify for Kona. ( Dear Bree Wee, young broke age group seeking homestay, knows how to cook, clean, do windows.), regardless I'm going back.
Now all that leaves is training, having done this whole shabang last year, I know the best winter training spots around. My masters team is in full swing, and I can eek out an hour or two to run pretty easily. So I'm going back to Taupo and hopefully, I get that magic ticket punched to the Big Island.
Life is short, Race hard.
R.D.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Finally it all sinks in....
"It was a few hours later I was at home having a shower when it hit me, you really did that." - Faris Al-Sultan on winning the 2005 Ironman World Championship.
As seen by some of my blog posts my life hasn't really been on the up swing in a while. It's only recently that the fact that I've done an Ironman, I've PR-ed in marathons, I've done more in a year than most people do in a life time has finally hit me. The last 8 months have been difficult as my dad lost his job, I was flooded out of my house, suffered fiscal hard ship and recently I had trouble getting my butt to write papers. Tonight I could add another blow to that pile of disappointments, a realtionship that wasn't...maybe we are better off as just friends,maybe it's karma getting back at me,or maybe it's the hand of fate twisting me in a new dircetion. I think back to that rainy day back in March in Taupo. by all accounts there is no way in hell I should have finished as well as I did. It was raining, it was windy, and I was bonking hardcore on the bike. I didn't manage a single Century in training, most of my riding was around a flat sheltered lake in Northwestern CT,yet I managed to finish in a modest 6:18 on that leg. I went out in the run in shoes I had bought at a local shop 4 days...yes that's right 4 days before the Ironman. I ran in them twice, and they were shredding the skin off my heels like a cheese grater, by all accounts I should have been hobbling to medical with my head in my hands begging the tri gods for mercy...instead I ran a marathon PR ...yes a PR (granted my first marathon was a suffer fest.) by 6minutes,and finsihed in under 11:30. Maybe it was because I surrounded myself with the right people, listened to the right stuff,drew inspiration on why I wanted to do Ironman, why I needed to do Ironman. Seriously there is no way in hell I should have gone to Taupo last year. My parents were in a rough patch, I got the money to pay my airfare at the absolute last second, my training was haphazzard at best, but for some reason I made it. I did it on a wing and a prayer. For the first time in my life I believed that I could do anything, it was as if failure didn't apply to me,that the unconfident kid that boarded a plane at JFK had suddenly become something more. That all those "you're nuts" "wouldn't you rather do a sprint race?" "You'll never..."comments didn't exist. For the past 8 months that feeling has been buried by debt, deadlines, family issues, personal issues, fear and doubt. It's time to dig through the ashes and pull out those feelings again, that I can do anything attitude again...to suit up in that lycra armor and show myself that I am worth it again.That I can do it again. That the world can do what it did March 1, 2008 at 6:13 PM That it can kiss my hairy red ass because I am an Ironman! And God damn it I'm going to do it again! So all those to all those so called experts who are saying I can't I've got two words: WATCH ME!
R.D.
As seen by some of my blog posts my life hasn't really been on the up swing in a while. It's only recently that the fact that I've done an Ironman, I've PR-ed in marathons, I've done more in a year than most people do in a life time has finally hit me. The last 8 months have been difficult as my dad lost his job, I was flooded out of my house, suffered fiscal hard ship and recently I had trouble getting my butt to write papers. Tonight I could add another blow to that pile of disappointments, a realtionship that wasn't...maybe we are better off as just friends,maybe it's karma getting back at me,or maybe it's the hand of fate twisting me in a new dircetion. I think back to that rainy day back in March in Taupo. by all accounts there is no way in hell I should have finished as well as I did. It was raining, it was windy, and I was bonking hardcore on the bike. I didn't manage a single Century in training, most of my riding was around a flat sheltered lake in Northwestern CT,yet I managed to finish in a modest 6:18 on that leg. I went out in the run in shoes I had bought at a local shop 4 days...yes that's right 4 days before the Ironman. I ran in them twice, and they were shredding the skin off my heels like a cheese grater, by all accounts I should have been hobbling to medical with my head in my hands begging the tri gods for mercy...instead I ran a marathon PR ...yes a PR (granted my first marathon was a suffer fest.) by 6minutes,and finsihed in under 11:30. Maybe it was because I surrounded myself with the right people, listened to the right stuff,drew inspiration on why I wanted to do Ironman, why I needed to do Ironman. Seriously there is no way in hell I should have gone to Taupo last year. My parents were in a rough patch, I got the money to pay my airfare at the absolute last second, my training was haphazzard at best, but for some reason I made it. I did it on a wing and a prayer. For the first time in my life I believed that I could do anything, it was as if failure didn't apply to me,that the unconfident kid that boarded a plane at JFK had suddenly become something more. That all those "you're nuts" "wouldn't you rather do a sprint race?" "You'll never..."comments didn't exist. For the past 8 months that feeling has been buried by debt, deadlines, family issues, personal issues, fear and doubt. It's time to dig through the ashes and pull out those feelings again, that I can do anything attitude again...to suit up in that lycra armor and show myself that I am worth it again.That I can do it again. That the world can do what it did March 1, 2008 at 6:13 PM That it can kiss my hairy red ass because I am an Ironman! And God damn it I'm going to do it again! So all those to all those so called experts who are saying I can't I've got two words: WATCH ME!
R.D.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
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